Why Women are Expensive

No, really. It is not cheap being a girl. Let me describe the expenses.

1. That time of the month. Historically society has considered girls "women" when we finally get the monthly joy of a period. Nowadays, no matter how you deal with it, it is annoyingly expensive. Tampons, pads, ibuprofen... whatever you use, the cost adds up each month. And it's not like this is a fun experience.

2. Shaving. Or waxing, plucking, hair removal, etc. Yes, men shave too. But the area women are expected to keep smooth is vastly larger. Also, no one shuns a man who hasn't shaved in a few days. Imagine a woman not shaving her armpits for a few days... no one would be ok with that. And razors, shaving cream, wax, expensive appointments for hair removal or salon waxing are all significant expenses over the course of a year.

3. Toilet paper. Yes, this is relatively minor, but the fact is a woman's anatomy dictates that she will use more toilet paper than a man. About 4 times more in a year. There's a few nice dinners or movie tickets in there.

4. Hair care. The fact is, the majority of women have more hair than the majority of men. This requires brushes and shampoo at the minimum. Conditioner, hair spray, a dryer, expensive cuts and treatments, etc. at the maximum. And some of these things can end up costing hundreds of dollars.

5. Bras. This is an entire article of clothing men don't ever have to consider. And of course besides bras for everyday use, a woman is expected to own a few nice bras, sports bras, and maybe even expensive strapless or backless bras.

6. Other beauty expenses. Unlike the 5 above, these aren't strictly required by society - it is possible for the lucky woman to get by without them, but to fit in with most circles they are necessities. This includes makeup, hair styling products, and a wide range of shoes and clothes. Many birth control methods are also usually paid for by women. There is also a large amount of time involved in all of the above expenses, to say nothing of utility bills caused by society's demand that women be clean shaven beauties.

So really, men, understand that women are expensive because men and society expects them to maintain a sometimes ridiculous beauty regime.

More Things I Want To Buy

I realize I already did a list of things I want to buy. This is different because I might actually buy these things in the near future. They don't require some sort of ridiculously high income level or a giant house.

1. A nice camera. I have a little Canon digital that works great and has decent battery life and good zoom for something that fits in my pocket... but nothing really compares to a camera with actual lenses. And more focus settings. And the way you can just hold down the shutter and take multiple photos. I might actually get decent shots of animals that refuse to hold still. Or at least I'll get some really hilarious photos of animal faces.

2. A kayak. OK, this might require a large storage area....
3. Clothes. Now that I fit into clothing that looks OK on me, I actually really enjoy having new things to wear. Where to put all of these clothes is another issue.

4. A new computer. I really can't operate on 2 gigs of RAM anymore.

5. A steel string or electric guitar. I have a nylon string guitar from... the '80s? No matter what I play, it always kind of sounds like crap. I realize some of this is due to my skill.

Things I'll Buy When I'm Stinking Rich

These occur to me all the time but I can't imagine actually buying any of these things unless I could also buy a ginormous house to put them in as well.

1. Air hockey table. Because I'm too cheap to pay for it whenever I do find one but they are unbelievably awesome. Unless you smash your hands.

2. Millions of cheap things from Target. Every time I go there I see tons of useless but awesome things. Like St. Patty's Day shot glasses, or brightly colored socks, or glasses with penguins on them or $5 movies. I don't need any more of these things but I always want them.

3. An big flat open roof. Possibly with a garden? I would sleep up there in the sunshine all the time.

4. Washing machine and dryer. These are just useful.

5. A closet the size of a room. I like hanging my clothes, what can I say....

6. Model horses... Like the nice expensive ones. These can also have a room of their own in this ginormous fantasy house of mine.

7. Things from the USC bookstore. College gear is so expensive.

For Your Online Enjoyment

Some websites I enjoy. Pretty simple.

fmylife.com - self explanatory

textsfromlastnight.com - self explanatory

failblog.org - epic fails

11points.com - lists

tridelphia.net - a magic 8 ball!

howtobakeapotato.com - it is awesome that someone got this domain name and used it to explain how to bake potatoes

mylifeisaverage.com - these stories are not average

woot.com - daily deals on a wide variety of things, also shirt.woot

XKCD - hilarity

sixbillionsecrets.com - self explanatory

Baby Name Wizard - popularity of baby names from 1880 to present, great visual presentation

More from the Cheezburger network:
failbook.com - Facebook fails and cleverness
Very Demotivational - demotivational posters
Crazy Things Parents Say - self explanatory

Looking Forward to Being Roommate-less

After living with roommates for all of college, I can't wait to live alone. I'm sure there are positive things roommates have to offer (like killing scary bugs, dealing with work orders, and eating leftovers I don't want) but at the moment the benefits don't seem to outweigh the drawbacks of living with other people. So here's what I look forward to when living alone:

1. I'll finally know what everything in the fridge is and how long it's been there.

2. The Disney channel will no longer be playing 24/7 on my TV in the living room.

3. All the furniture will (hopefully) actually match. And not be cheap antiques from three different families.

4. I will be able to eat any of the food in the apartment and use any of the dishes. These dishes will also actually be clean.

5. No one will try to cram pizza boxes into the tiny trash can.

6. The wireless will be properly encrypted and have a sensible password and I will be able to reach the router when there are problems.

7. No one will have to listen to me talk to myself and I won't have to listen to anyone else talk to themselves. Also I won't have to keep my voice down when talking to other people or doing other things.

8. No one will walk into my room to talk to me when I am clearly just chillin' in my room.

10 Facts About Avocados

1. The name avocado comes from the Nahuatl word ahuacatl which apparently meant testicle and was a reference to the shape of the fruit. Aren't you going to think about that now every time you eat an avocado?

Interestingly enough, the word guacamole comes from ahuacamolli which is basically avocado sauce. Or you know, testicle sauce.

2. 100 grams of avocado is roughly 160 calories. About 75% of that is from fat. Avocados also have more fiber than any other fruit and more potassium than bananas. They are also good for your cholesterol. Yay.

3. Avocado can be dangerous to dogs, cats, birds, horses, and other animals. It can cause colic in horses when large amounts are consumed, which can lead to death if not treated. This kind of makes me mad at avocados, because in the grand scheme of things horses = more awesome than avocados, although it's a close race sometimes depending on the ripeness of the avocado and whether or not horses behave.

4. Avocados are most common used as a base in dips like guacamole, on toast or in sandwiches, in sushi rolls, in omelettes, or eaten plain.

5. A single avocado plant cannot bear fruit unless it has another plant to cross pollinate with. So if you're growing them, best to plant two.

6. California produces about 90% of the avocados grown in the US. The US produces about 40% of worldwide avocado exports. Mexico and Indonesia produce the most avocados a year, with the US coming in third.

7. Avocados are also referred to as "butter pears" or "alligator pears."

8. The avocado tree is in the same family as cinnamon. Can't you see the similarities? Although apparently some people think they taste good together.

9. After it is picked an avocado takes 7-10 days to ripen. Putting it in the fridge will slow this down, while putting it in a bag with other fruit will speed this up.

10. Avocados had a long history as a sexual stimulant and used to not be purchased or eaten by people who wanted to appear sexually pure. So guacamole was only for the sexy people. Yum.

Avocados are awesome. If you want more random facts, and to read some of these again, look here.

7 Things Guys Can Do To Make Girls Happy

Sometimes I think relationships are like holidays. They're supposed to be awesome and often suck. So here's a list of things that, in my opinion, guys can do to make girls happier in a relationship. Because we all know that boys are happy when their girl is happy, and happy girls lead to other... happy things. Take or leave what you will.

1. Let her know you're thinking of her. This is especially applicable if you're in a situation where you don't see each other much. Send a short email, text message, or something that lets her know you're thinking of her. It doesn't have to be deep and it doesn't have to be cheesy, she'll be happy just knowing you miss her and you care.

2. Compliment her every day. It's a little know fact, but compliments expire every night. No matter how much you tell her she is beautiful one day, she'll still wake up the next morning afraid you'll see her bed head and walk away. And no matter how confident she is, she still will love a compliment every day. Any kind of compliment will do, whether it's how much she makes you laugh, how beautiful she is, or how much you love her cooking. Take the time to point out what you like about her and you'll make her happy.

3. Get her small gifts. Women aren't all selfish and materialistic, but everyone will love a small spontaneous present, whether it is a single flower, a balloon, a little plastic toy, something you stole from the supply room at work, or something completely random. She'll appreciate the thought and every time she sees the present she'll think of you. Trust me, this is a good thing.

4. Be affectionate in public. Some people hate PDA, so make sure you know your girl, but most appreciate you showing a little affection when you're out and about, especially if you are with your friends, and especially if these friends are females she doesn't know well. It'll show her you care about her as more than a friend and send a signal that you're not into your other girl friends. Hug her around the waist from behind or hold her hand and she'll know you care about her and aren't ashamed to be with her in public.

5. When you make plans, put thought into them. Doing something doesn't have to be a big commitment, but show her that you care by planning a little ahead of time. If you're going out to dinner, make reservations. If you are planning something spontaneous, let her know ahead of time that you'll be doing something, but don't tell her what it is. She'll love the surprise. Even if you're doing something casual, set it up to look like you put time into it. She'll enjoy it no matter what you do.

6. Initiate time together. Don't let her be the first to start up a conversation or let her plan all of your time together. It'll make her feel like she's doing all the work and that you don't care. It'll also make her feel like she's bothering you with plans and make her feel desperate, and no woman likes feeling desperate.

7. Share your secrets. I know, girls share everything and guys are closemouthed, but try to share important events with her. Let her know what matters to you and what makes you excited or happy and she'll be happy too.

Sensing a theme? It's all about the small things, done often. Why'd I list 7 things? Because I could probably list a million, but Google searching will bring those up for you if you really care. This post also has a great list of specific small things to do for your girl.

Shockingly enough, this post seems to be me offering an explanation instead of asking for one. So here's a question: what should girls do to make a guy happy (aside from the obvious sexual things, because those are, well, obvious)?