A Flashback to the Days I Played with Bath Toys

I was an unusual girl child in that I preferred toy cars, planes, trains, and boats over dolls. One of my favorites was a little orange plastic submarine acquired from a cereal box (it was the U.S.S. Toucan Sam from a box of Froot Loops in approx. 1995, if you were wondering). To my delight, there are pictures of this wonderful creation on the internet.

Isn't it delightful? So basic and yet I got hours of joy out of this thing. I carried it everywhere with me.

I almost wish it were possible to acquire one of these nowadays, although I have no idea what I would do with it.  I found the image in this old listing. Do they still put toys in cereal boxes? Are they this awesome?

Legit Reasons to use the Internet

Having recently moved, I was forced to make a decision on what was really necessary to have in a new apartment living alone. Quickly nixing telephone in favor of cell phone and television in favor of internet... I was left to wonder if I really needed internet at all. Being a cheapskate, I decided I could live without it as long as I have access at work... and soon after discovered that there are legit reasons why I am now paying to have an internet connection at my apartment.

1. Mapping capabilities - honesty, who owns maps of their town and uses the phone book to find businesses anymore? I don't even remember the last time I saw a phone book being used as a phone book - target practice yes, intended use, no.

2. Weather forecast - now if I had TV, this wouldn't be a problem, but since TV got nixed in favor of internet and there is no way I am paying for a newspaper just for inaccurate weather reporting... internet it is. How else would you find the weather forecast?

3. Those activities that are not appropriate for work - and I'm not even talking NSFW here. Just things like printing endless Borders coupons... or spending time writing a blog article instead of actually working.

Jelly Bean Flavors

I have taken it upon myself to eat at least one half of each of the 20 flavors of Jelly Belly jelly beans in the package I have come across and report on each of them.


Blueberry - Manages to actually taste somewhat like blueberries. Not half bad.

Bubble Gum - Does indeed taste quite like bubblegum. Exactly like bubblegum. The only thing that proves it is not in fact gum is that you can't blow bubbles with it.

Buttered Popcorn - Who thought this would be a good idea for a candy? The first bite does taste surprisingly like buttered popcorn. And then you realize how gross it is and immediately spit it out.

Coconut - Tastes like coconut. So if you're a fan of coconut....

Cotton Candy - This doesn't actually taste like cotton candy... which is pretty much just fluffy sugar. It is actually quite sweet and a little fruity. One of my favorites, especially since it is pretty easy to identify.

Green Apple - Tastes exactly like green apple flavor. Not really like green apples though. Don't expect it to be sour. But it is pretty yummy.

Juicy Pear - Despite looking like faded spinach, this does actually taste a little like pear. Really strong pear. Like maybe the kind you would cook with or something. Really though, it's definitely edible.

Sunkist Lemon - Tastes somewhat like every other lemon candy around that isn't too sour.

Lemon Lime - Tastes kind of like the lemon one. Maybe a little more limey?

Licorice - If you like black licorice.... I do not. Still not as bad as the popcorn one though.

Orange Sherbet - It's like orange... something. Not sherbet exactly.... But something. Still, it's edible.

Peach - Mmmmm peach candy. Yummmmmm. Kind of a weird aftertaste though.

Pina Colada - Out of all the jelly beans in my pack, there are more of this kind than any other. Why is that? I mean, a pina colada is an alcoholic drink. It's not like there could have been too many kids clamoring for this flavor. It tastes somewhat like pineapple? Definitely not as strong as some other pina colada flavored things. It's a pretty even balance between coconut and pineapple on this one.

Sizzling Cinnamon - DEATH. Especially when you think you're getting a nice cherry and you make the mistake of eating a whole one. I do not understand those people who like cinnamon. And still this is not as bad as the popcorn.

Strawberry Cheesecake - Not the best strawberry cheesecake interpretation ever. Not terrible either. I mean, how could it be, it's almost entirely made out of sugar. But still. Could be better. I had such high expectations.

Sunkist Tangerine - A very average jelly bean. Kind of what you expect it to taste like. Pretty forgettable.

Toasted Marshmallow - Oh lord. This just looks like a bad idea. It's not as bad as it looks though. Not really sure how toasted it tastes, but there is a marshmallow taste in there somewhere.

Tutti-Fruitti - Uhm, so this tastes vaguely like the gum they give you in the dentist's office.... Just sayin'.

Very Cherry - An old classic. Just don't mistake it with cinnamon.

Watermelon - My favorite part about this is by far the fact that the outside is green and the inside is red. That's pretty awesome. It also tastes kind of like fake-watermelon flavor. Which is ok since real watermelons taste kind of like sweetened water.

In review:
Best - Cotton Candy, Green Apple, Bubble Gum, Very Cherry
Worst - Licorice, Sizzling Cinnamon
Gag Worthy - Buttered Popcorn

Why Women are Expensive

No, really. It is not cheap being a girl. Let me describe the expenses.

1. That time of the month. Historically society has considered girls "women" when we finally get the monthly joy of a period. Nowadays, no matter how you deal with it, it is annoyingly expensive. Tampons, pads, ibuprofen... whatever you use, the cost adds up each month. And it's not like this is a fun experience.

2. Shaving. Or waxing, plucking, hair removal, etc. Yes, men shave too. But the area women are expected to keep smooth is vastly larger. Also, no one shuns a man who hasn't shaved in a few days. Imagine a woman not shaving her armpits for a few days... no one would be ok with that. And razors, shaving cream, wax, expensive appointments for hair removal or salon waxing are all significant expenses over the course of a year.

3. Toilet paper. Yes, this is relatively minor, but the fact is a woman's anatomy dictates that she will use more toilet paper than a man. About 4 times more in a year. There's a few nice dinners or movie tickets in there.

4. Hair care. The fact is, the majority of women have more hair than the majority of men. This requires brushes and shampoo at the minimum. Conditioner, hair spray, a dryer, expensive cuts and treatments, etc. at the maximum. And some of these things can end up costing hundreds of dollars.

5. Bras. This is an entire article of clothing men don't ever have to consider. And of course besides bras for everyday use, a woman is expected to own a few nice bras, sports bras, and maybe even expensive strapless or backless bras.

6. Other beauty expenses. Unlike the 5 above, these aren't strictly required by society - it is possible for the lucky woman to get by without them, but to fit in with most circles they are necessities. This includes makeup, hair styling products, and a wide range of shoes and clothes. Many birth control methods are also usually paid for by women. There is also a large amount of time involved in all of the above expenses, to say nothing of utility bills caused by society's demand that women be clean shaven beauties.

So really, men, understand that women are expensive because men and society expects them to maintain a sometimes ridiculous beauty regime.

More Things I Want To Buy

I realize I already did a list of things I want to buy. This is different because I might actually buy these things in the near future. They don't require some sort of ridiculously high income level or a giant house.

1. A nice camera. I have a little Canon digital that works great and has decent battery life and good zoom for something that fits in my pocket... but nothing really compares to a camera with actual lenses. And more focus settings. And the way you can just hold down the shutter and take multiple photos. I might actually get decent shots of animals that refuse to hold still. Or at least I'll get some really hilarious photos of animal faces.

2. A kayak. OK, this might require a large storage area....
3. Clothes. Now that I fit into clothing that looks OK on me, I actually really enjoy having new things to wear. Where to put all of these clothes is another issue.

4. A new computer. I really can't operate on 2 gigs of RAM anymore.

5. A steel string or electric guitar. I have a nylon string guitar from... the '80s? No matter what I play, it always kind of sounds like crap. I realize some of this is due to my skill.

Earthquakes

I have developed a new paranoia.
Despite having felt several earthquakes in Southern California over the last few years, the disastrous earthquakes around the country in the last few months and the quake we had here at 4 in the morning one day really made me think about the possibility of "the big one" hitting Los Angeles.

Before, the little shakes were almost fun, an occasion to dive under the desk during work and laugh as it was over before you even got half way underneath. Having an earthquake at 4am in my shaky old apartment building without my contacts in made me realize that there could be an earthquake at any time. Imagine an earthquake from the highest seat in Dodger stadium, driving 65mph on a freeway overpass, or while you're taking a shower. What would you even do to protect yourself in those situations? Would you even have time to do anything?

Every time a truck drives by and shakes my apartment or the kid next to me taps his foot and shakes my seat, I find myself wondering if this is the first shake or something larger, and I look for the nearest hiding place and wonder if it would protect me if there was a real quake.

Awesome Easter Candy

As Easter candy slowly disappears from the sale shelves of my local grocers, I find myself missing those candies that only come around during this time of the year.
The all-time favorite: Cadbury Creme Eggs
I think if I wasn't afraid of what people would say about me I would stock these year round and never stop eating them.

Fond childhood memory: Brach's Easter Hunt Eggs, Marshmallow Version
I honestly have no idea what these are called now. I think they used to be Bunny Basket Eggs? I was shocked to find them this year, and even better they now come individually wrapped so they don't dry out and break your teeth. Compact marshmallow-ness on the inside, some sort of flavored sugar thing on the outside. So much better than Peeps or the other marshmallow Easter candy available.

Old Reliable: Reese's Eggs
Not sure why these taste better than regular Reese's, but I swear they do.